When Grief Turns Good

When Grief Turns Good

“Every relationship, whether it is with our parents or with life partners, must end one way or another.  Our life span is finite and we cannot stop inevitable death and physical separation.”

The quote above, is just a snippet from a message I received from Dr. Yukio Ishizuka. I had met him at a Boardroom Inc. (publishers of The Bottom Line newsletter) dinner where experts from various fields came together for a stimulating discussion about the economy, life in general, longevity, and more. Brian Kurtz of Boardroom is a dear friend and amazing human being. When he puts these groups together one can count on a powerful experience and many new friends. Thanks, Brian and of course, Marty Edelstein.

Below is the message in its entirety. In subsequent conversations with Dr. Ishizuka and after further contemplation, I realized that my father’s death is a closing of one door and the opening of another. On the other side of the new door is a renewed focus on connecting deeply and authentically with people. I am also more deeply committed to creating meaningful relationships in every area of my life. That is a huge part of my Father’s gifts to me now.

The message from Dr. Ishizuka:

“I am sincerely sorry about your father’s passing and appreciate your deep grief as reflection of your love for your father, who has been dear to your heart.

However, your father’s physical death is not the end of your close relationship with him. In fact, he has become part of you and will remain so as long as you live.  I remember a female attorny, a partner in a law firm, who came to see me in severe distress as she faced her beloved father declining rapidly with terminal cancer.  She told me that it was her father, who had encouraged her to dare and pursue legal career and helped her become what she was. She could not bear watching his father diminish and die.

My advice for her was to visit him every day, try to get even closer to him as he was declining, until the last moment of his life, being grateful that she had had such a wonderful father, and redouble her efforts to become even closer to her husband. She required only that single session to overcome her grief.

Death is not a tragedy, although our response often makes it into a tragedy, from which we have difficulty recovering. You have not lost your father by his death. Your father lives on in you.

Psychologically, we take our parents into our personalities and carry them with us, as our DNA is carried on by our offsprings after our physical death.

You must put yourself in your father’s shoes. He already knows how much you love him. You don’t have to prove it by depth of your grief. You must cherish your memories of him, keep loving him, and must not shrink from new close relationships, for fear that it may also end.

All relationships in life end (physically) in death sooner or later. The only choice we have is to live our life out as fully as we can, which includes loving another human being while we still can.

I suspect that your father would agree with me.”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusrssyoutubeinstagramby feather

Greta Blackburn is an actress, fitness magazine editor and Founder/Director of Greta Blackburn’s FITCAMPS, which have taken place for over 20 years in locations ranging from Malibu, Maui, and Mexico to Las Vegas and served as training symposiums for fitness professionals and other interested men and women from all over the world. Today the focus at Fitcamp is making 100 the new 50.

In 2011 Greta co-authored, “The Immortality Edge” with Michael Fossel, MD, PhD. (author of the pivotal 1997 tome “Reversing Human Aging”) and Dr. Woynarowski with research and solutions based programs based on the emerging field of Telomere Biology.

Posted in Longevity

Get Insider Health Tips!
"Join me as I travel the world world uncovering health secrets you won't get anywhere else!"

Thanks for subscribing. Please check your emailPlease fill in all required fields
Your privacy is SAFE

Greta's Big Secret
Be the First to Hear about My Herbal Product for Women that Regulates Female Cycles and Menopause - AND Has a Super Sex Drive Ingredient!
Thanks for subscribing. Please check your emailPlease fill in all required fields
Your privacy is SAFE

Figure 8 Workout DVD

One of a kind workout DVDProper exercise is essential for great health. Motivate yourself and improve your workout with this high intensity interval training workout. This Figure 8 DVD/MP3 is a fun way to stay active and fit for a stronger, healthier, and younger body.

The Immortality Edge

The Immortality Edge book on longevityBased on Nobel Prize-winning genetic research, The Immortality Edge offers a simple plan to keep your telomeres healthy. Learn how anti-aging research is progressing and what you can do today to improve your health and stay young.

Like Our Posts?
Join Us!

Thanks for subscribing. Please check your email Please fill in all required fields
No spam! No nonsense emails!